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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25192873">the beginning of a journey</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernaturalsun/pseuds/supernaturalsun'>supernaturalsun</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Men's Hockey RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fear of Flying, Fluff, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:54:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,011</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25192873</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernaturalsun/pseuds/supernaturalsun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>EJ wants to be offended, wants to say <i>what the fuck</i> and turn his back on Sam because like, he’s not a little kid in need of reassurance. Except Sam is still smiling with a kind look on his face and EJ, he still has a tremor in his leg and he’s an adult who could use some help.</p><p>After glancing around to check if any of their teammates were paying them attention, EJ slots his fingers between Sam’s. “I’m not responsible if I break a couple of your fingers.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Samuel Girard/Erik Johnson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>118</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the beginning of a journey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Answering to the weekly discord prompt : "You can hold my hand if you want". </p><p>Title from <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/355372-sometimes-reaching-out-and-taking-someone-s-hand-is-the-beginning">this quote</a>.

</p><p>I also did an aesthetic post which can be found <a href="https://legendsnart.tumblr.com/tagged/fics-aesthetics">here</a>.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>EJ would like for the record to know that he already had his earphones in and was  very focused on looking at the airport runway outside when Sam tries to get his attention. That’s why it takes him a while to realize the rookie is waiting for an answer from him in the aisle of the plane.</p><p>“Sorry, I— I didn’t mean to bother you ? I’m going to… Go,” Sam says, fumbling a little with his words as he hunches his backpack further up his shoulder to keep going past EJ’s seat.</p><p>“Fuck, sorry, I was in my head, I didn’t hear you. You can sit here if you want,” EJ offers, putting his hand on the seat next to him to clarify his point.</p><p>The truth is, ideally, EJ would very much like to spend the flight on his own, music too loud in his ears to drown the thoughts in his head until he could manage to fall asleep. </p><p>And like, EJ could be a jerk, could pull rank, could be mean and apologize later. But next to him he has a rookie who got on the team barely a week ago and he’s probably going to be EJ’s new d-partner and yeah, he knows how to be nice once in a while.</p><p>Sam nods, thanks EJ with a smile before putting his bag on the overhead storage place after having taken out a blanket and his tablet.</p><p>EJ does pull a small tight smile back as Sam settles next to him. He doesn’t say much more, just fiddles with his phone while the rest of the team keeps filling the plane until the flight captain’s voice comes over the speakers to announce that they’re ready to take off.</p><p>“Hey, you’re okay ?”</p><p>It takes a moment for EJ to understand Sam’s question but then he follows Sam’s eyes to his very quickly bouncing leg and oh, <em> fuck.  </em></p><p>“Yeah,” EJ nods, his hand gripping the armrest tightly and his voice the contrary of assured.</p><p>He risks a glance at Sam and it looks like the rookie can’t figure out if he can call EJ on his bullshit or not. EJ would laugh if he wasn’t so stressed out.</p><p>“Are you… Scared of flying ?” Sam tries. EJ wants to disappear under his seat.</p><p>“You can’t exactly be afraid of flying when you take dozens of airplanes a year, rook,” he tries to assert with more conviction.</p><p>Sam frowns and why the fuck can’t EJ get away from this easily exactly ? </p><p>The truth is, EJ… He doesn’t <em> like </em>flying, which yeah, is fucking inconvenient in his line of work. It’s mostly take offs and landings that he’s never been one hundred percent comfortable with. It used to way worse, when he was younger, his parents tried a variety of things to treat his problem, ranging from giving him sleeping pills to sending him to training courses dedicated to teach people how flying was the safest mean to travel and how to get over their phobia. Obviously they never managed to fully cure him, if that was even possible.</p><p>Flights with the Blues had been rough, his stomach sometimes so knotted he’d ended up throwing up in the plane’s bathroom once they had taken off. Then he’d joined the Avs and he’d managed to share his issue with some of his teammates who had helped him being distracted during the worst parts. That had helped.</p><p>Now, he mostly do well with short flights. Crossing the Atlantic though ? It’s a whole other ordeal.</p><p>“It’s okay, can happen to anyone,” Sam says calmly as he puts his hand on EJ’s knee to stop it from bouncing.</p><p>“I—” EJ takes a deep breath. It’s been a while since he’s told anyone about his secret. He hadn’t meant to confide in his new rookie five days after meeting him. “It’s just bad because it’s a long flight and we’re flying higher so the take off is gonna be rougher and longer. Also I’m tired, it doesn’t help.”</p><p>And why does he feel the need to explain himself to a nineteen years old canadian boy who might not understand what he’s saying ? Well, for the genuine concern in his eyes and the warmth of his palm against EJ’s pants, probably.</p><p>EJ feels his seat vibrate as the plane starts to make his way along the take-off runway and he takes another deep breath, regretting very deeply his decision of not asking the doctors for a sleeping pill. </p><p>“You can hold my hand if you want,” Sam offers. And when he looks down, EJ can see that Sam lifted up his hand from his knee to put his palm up on the armrest next to EJ’s own hand.</p><p>EJ wants to be offended, wants to say <em> what the fuck </em>and turn his back on Sam because like, he’s not a little kid in need of reassurance. Except Sam is still smiling with a kind look on his face and EJ, he still has a tremor in his leg and he’s an adult who could use some help.</p><p>After glancing around to check if any of their teammates were paying them attention, EJ slots his fingers between Sam’s. “I’m not responsible if I break a couple of your fingers.”</p><p>Sam laughs at that and squeezes his hand once. EJ doesn’t add anything, just decides to close his eyes while take off is still happening.</p><p>“Tell me about the team,” Sam quietly asks when they’re finally up in the air and the ringing in EJ’s ears have stopped. He opens his eyes to look at his teammate questioningly. “I just arrived, I didn’t even to do camp with you guys. I need some hindsights.”</p><p>EJ chuckles and he thinks about this poor rookie who barely got to play 5 games with the team which drafted him before he had to take a plane on his own to fucking Sweden, where he knew literally nobody. He looks at him and he figures, <em> yeah, okay, I can spill some tea </em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>○○○</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It takes the plane landing and the two of them needing to get up for EJ to realize than he never stopped holding hands with Sam for the whole flight.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>○○○</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They have a couple of quiet days when they get back and then they play the Caps at home. It’s a good game. EJ manages a +2, Gabe gets his first hat-trick and Nate puts up five points. It’s obviously a night to celebrate.</p><p>EJ — he feels good. Their record could be better but the beginning of their season has nothing to do with the last and it fills his mind with hope again. They can do better. They <em> will </em>do better.</p><p>“Buy me a drink ?” EJ is waiting at the bar to order another beer when Sam siddles up next to him, the side of his head bumping against EJ’s shoulder. “Please ?” he adds with puppy eyes that EJ has to blink at.</p><p>“Sucks to be a baby adult in the US, uh ?”</p><p>“Could use your help,” Sam shrugs before tilting his head to the side.</p><p>He’s two seconds away from pouting, EJ knows it. He almost want to tell him that he should try it with someone else if he wants to flirt his way to alcohol. It’s kind of cute, though.</p><p>“Give me a reason,” EJ decides to answer, eyes momentarily leaving Sam to try to get the bartender’s attention.</p><p>“Okay. I assisted Nate’s goal. We played good together. We won. You want to be the mean alternate but you’re really a softie. You like to do good things, like offering me a drink. You—” EJ stops him with a hand over his mouth. </p><p>He can still feel Sam’s grin behind his fingers. It’s the first time he’s heard Sam utter so many words in one setting and that leaves him wondering how many drinks he already managed to get.</p><p>“You’re a menace,” EJ states. But when the bartender comes, he does order two pints.</p><p>He lifts his hand from Sam’s mouth to drape his arm around the younger man’s shoulders, handing him his beer with the other.</p><p>“We did play good. To many more games like that.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>○○○</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The next day, they go on a two-games roadtrip to play Nashville and Detroit. EJ spends the first flight next to Tyson because he claimed he had some videos he <em> had to </em>show EJ and as far as distractions go, it’s not bad. Their next flight occurs right after the game and EJ is tired enough through most of it. He’s not so lucky during the next one which he spends with Gabe watching a movie but not able to focus that much on it.</p><p>They beat Dallas at home and then they do a quick trip to Minnesota, back home right after the game because they have to play Calgary in Denver the next day. They’re barely gone 24 hours, the trip too quick for EJ to even envision seeing his family. At least the flights are short, the flight out mostly spent listening to Nate talking about what he learnt this summer with his new sports psychologist, the return one a little messy but manageable.</p><p>After that they have a five games home-stand that EJ would love to appreciate but it’s hard to not be a little bitter when they go 1-4-0. He tries to not let the defeats eat at him too much because this is <em> not </em>last year and they will bounce back. The team is motivated and overall, EJ doesn’t feel bad about how he’s playing.</p><p>He’s got some adjustments to do but skating with Sam by his sides, it has something liberating, somehow. Sam’s tiny and most people probably wonder how someone like that is supposed to play defense against guys who can have more than 40 pounds on him. EJ can’t say he didn’t wonder too, at the beginning.</p><p>But EJ, he gets to practice with him every other day, gets to have him play on his line, and he’s beautiful to see. He’s got speed and he knows how to read the game. It makes EJ want to be better so they can show the world that Avs can know how to defend.</p><p>So Sam’s good. He gets the stall next to EJ’s and it’s nice. EJ gets to discover Sam’s three modes : focused (with the rigid set of his jaw), confused (with a cute furrow between his brows) and happy (with the pretty smile that tugs on his lips). He’s not sure which one he prefers.</p><p>He’s pretty sure he’s not supposed to figure it out, anyway.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>○○○</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Because they’re hockey players and this is the NHL, they have to go back on the road for a 4 games road trip to the East Coast. </p><p>EJ is sitting alone for their flight to Tampa and it takes a solid twenty minutes for his heart to finally calm down after they’re done with take off. His stomach stays in knots for the rest of the journey and he can’t remember the last time he had it so bad. </p><p>He catches Sam’s eyes when he’s on the aisle on the plane, walking toward the exit after they’ve landed. EJ thinks that his face is <em> not </em> as white as sheets but he knows that he doesn’t exactly looks good. Sam frowns and EJ tries to gives a smile that conveys <em> I’m good, don’t worry </em>but given how Sam’s frown deepen, he’s probably not exactly good at it. He doesn’t get questioned about it, whatever.</p><p>Maybe the exact same pattern happens when they travel to Florida. And what about it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>○○○</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>EJ scores against the Panthers and it’s a good win that lift up everyone’s spirit. They can’t go out to celebrate but EJ is still in a good place when they board their plane to Pittsburgh.</p><p>He’s been seating for about 45 seconds when Sam joins him. </p><p>“I can stay there ? Yeah ?” he asks and EJ nods even though it feels like Sam wouldn’t have taken no for an answer anyway.</p><p>They stay quiet while the rest of the team takes their place and when the plane starts running up, EJ goes to grip his armrest and finds Sam’s hand laying there, his palm up, the offering clear.</p><p>EJ freezes for a second, looks up to search Sam’s face but doesn’t find much. Sam has his quiet smile but he’s not egging EJ on or reminding him that he’s been doing terrible on his own lately. He’s just - leaving him a choice, plain and simple, no judgment anywhere.</p><p>EJ takes a deep breath and slips his hand in Sam’s. This time, his teammate doesn’t wait for them to be in the air to start talking.</p><p>“Tell me about your life in Minnesota,” he asks.</p><p>And EJ - he doesn’t really have to think about it. He complies.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>○○○</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When they leave Pittsburgh for Washington, things unfold easily. EJ takes a seat by the window, Sam following him the next second. EJ still takes a look around when Sam lays his hand between the two of them but he’s quick to link his fingers with Sam afterwards.</p><p>This time, he tells him about his years in the USNTDP, how it felt being away from home at 16 when he wasn’t living with his overprotective mom anymore. Sam listens. He will chip in a few words from time to time, nods or smiles when it’s appropriate, but he mostly lets EJ do the talking and EJ finds out that he doesn’t mind. He can’t remember the last time he met someone it was so easy to talk to. </p><p>He knows Sam doesn’t understand everything, will catch hum frowning sometimes when EJ uses his french canadian brain hasn’t learned yet. It tends to make EJ smiles while he tries to find a way to explain the word or find an alternative. <em> You’re such a good teacher, </em>Sam decides one day. EJ has absolutely no idea if he is kidding or not but he takes the compliment anyway.</p><p>They only have two games on the road during the two weeks that take them to Christmas and EJ finds himself spending more and more time with Sam. Sure, he truly calms his on the plane trips but he’s just as good company on the firm ground. Also there are conversations EJ doesn’t really want to have with his teammates within earshots so, he finds occasions to spend time alone with his rookie.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>○○○</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>EJ explains his medical history to Sam in a mexican place they went to in order to get lunch after morning practice. He didn’t really mean to but they’d been talking about some exercice they had done earlier on the ice and EJ naturally found himself explaining why his knee hurt sometimes, which position were dangerous and what he had to do to avoid furthering the damage.</p><p>It’s not his favourite subject of conversation, to say the least. Mostly because what made him prone to injuries are mistakes he did in his youth that he still struggles to own and talk about. EJ doesn’t go into that much details but Sam doesn’t judge him, just nods and asks EJ if if he ever tried some of the techniques that had been suggested to Sam’s brother when he had troubles of his own with his knee. </p><p>They’re in EJ’s room on the road, together in bed to previously watch some tape on his tablet, when EJ tells Sam about last season. He thinks Sam probably knows by now about their 48 points but he wants to use his own words, explains how things went from his perspective.</p><p>So he tells Sam, about how the season started in an okay way, how october wasn’t that bad and how november could have been worst. Then they only won 4 games in december and january combined while EJ had to watch from the sidelines, useless with his broken leg.</p><p>He talks about his recovery, how it felt even worse than usual even when he had been through the whole process several times. His motivation had been so low, even his torn ACL had seemed easier to put behind. He still had some connection with the team, Gabe coming by with Tyson and Nate. There was so much they could do to hide how bad the team morale was. Tyson was the best at playing it cool but Nate, oh <em> Nate </em>, everything EJ had to known had been written plain and clear in the ever present tension in his shoulders and the anger in his eyes.</p><p>EJ came back, like he always did, but it didn’t do much. They averaged one win per week and then it was to put that chaos of a season behind them. Go home and have a break and train to do better. EJ had been through rough patches during his career as a pro hockey player in the NHL but those months, he promised himself that he would never live through something like that again.</p><p>“You’re like, the only person I ever told all of that,” he admits to Sam quietly. The most important people of his life obviously know what he went threw and he shared some of his thoughts but - the whole self-esteem issue and the promise and pretty deep stuff ? Yeah, that had mostly been a private package keeping camp in his brain.</p><p>Sam raises his head from where he laid it on EJ’s shoulder while he was listening to him. EJ doesn’t think he has ever seen him looking so <em> soft </em>. It’s disorienting for a second. “I’m glad you did.”</p><p>And it’s probably the most standard answer EJ could have expected but it still makes his chest tighten a little, caught up in his emotions.</p><p>“We’re doing good EJ. You, me, the whole team. We’re going to do it,” Sam adds.</p><p>And EJ doesn’t know if he means winning the Cup or clinching a playoff spot or something, but the promise warms him up all over anyway. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>○○○</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’re hogging the rookie, Erik,” Tyson fake complains when they’re boarding their plane to Dallas. </p><p>EJ huffs, Tyson can dream if he think he’ll let Tyson have Sam when this is their only game away in the first three weeks of January.</p><p>“Actually I’m the one stealing him,” Sam pipes up from next to him. </p><p>Because oh yeah, he’s here and he’s technically not an object that EJ can grab whenever he needs it. And he knows that and Sam knows that he doesn’t have to sit next to EJ if he doesn’t want to, right ? Sam flicks him on his forearm to stop his internal crisis.</p><p>“You got to be close to the crew in charge. Easier to get away with things then. I learnt that from you Tyson,” Sam chuckles and Tyson honest to god burst out laughing, drawing some look from their nearby teammates.</p><p>Nate appears next to Tyson the next second to ask him what’s taking him so long and EJ wants to facepalm.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>○○○</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Montreal ends their ten-games winning streak on the 23rd of January. It’s an incredibly bad defeat and the mood is good in the locker afterwards, the realization that they came close to beat one of the franchise record sinking it.</p><p>Their plane doesn’t leave until morning so most of the team decides to go out, they kind of have something to celebrate, after all.</p><p>“I’ll have one Guiness please,” a voice says close to his ear while EJ is waiting at the bar. The people around him are loud but there’s a hand placed at the small of his back and EJ could recognize that voice between hundred of others.</p><p>“We’re in Canada, in case that escaped that tiny head of yours,” he teases, the <em> you’re legal to buy your own alcohol here </em>heavily implied.</p><p>Sam grins, that one smile that he uses when he wants something. EJ can feel the warm palm on his back moving up and down, nails lightly grazing his skin above his shirt. EJ has no idea if Sam is conscious that he’s doing it but it feels <em> good </em>. </p><p>EJ needs to focus.</p><p>“You know, JT said he wanted to sit next to me tomorrow. Maybe I should consider it,” Sam answers. And, blackmail ? Really ?</p><p>“Alright, then I’ll go watch the second Captain America with Mikko,” EJ answers, because two can play a game.</p><p>Sam has the audacity to look offended, the little shit, and then he’s holding on EJ’s waist for support and putting himself on his toes to set his chin on EJ’s shoulder. “Please.”</p><p>EJ is weak. </p><p>He buys Sam his drink.</p><p>Sam spends his night next to EJ, long line of heat from shoulder to knee. Sometimes his hand will poke EJ’s ribs or grab his thigh to get his attention. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>○○○</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They’re playing Edmonton at home on the 18th of February when everything goes to shit.</p><p>At first, EJ doesn’t understand what’s happening to me. He’s going after the puck near the boards, Slepyshev in the periphery of his vision, and then his left hand connect with something solid and he feels a blinding flair of electricity going through his arm, up until his shoulder. </p><p>He lets his stick fall to the ground, holding his shoulder with his other hand and the next thing he knows, he’s lying on the ice, pain paralysing his shoulder. He can hear his teammates around him, can remember he was close to the bench, but he’s grinding his teeth and closing his eyes, the pain he’s experiencing the only thing he can focus on.</p><p>It’s hard to figure out who’s talking to him, when he opens his eyes he recognizes their medic who leads him to the locker room once he’s been helped by teammates he couldn’t name to get up. </p><p>They make him seat and he’s told to not move, which EJ wants to laugh at but doesn’t manage to. He’s helped out of his gear, the process hurting, especially when they take care of the pads on his left shoulder. EJ closes his eyes, tries to let the doctor move his arm around and check the rest of his body, answering his question with one word at a time.</p><p>EJ’s had his fair share of injuries but <em> this </em>, this he’s pretty sure he hasn’t done. The sensations are unfamiliar and at first the doctors don’t say anything, which starts to scare the fuck out of him. And then, as he thinks about his knee and his leg, there are those words which roll around on a loop in his head.</p><p>
  <em> Not again, not again, not again. Please, not again, not again, not again.  </em>
</p><p>“Look Erik,” the doctor says and EJ snaps his eyes open so quickly it almost gives him whiplash. “I’m going to give you something for the pain but I can’t tell you what this is yet because I’m not sure yet. We’re going to have to take you to the hospital to do more exams.”</p><p>And EJ, he’s not a doctor and he shouldn’t get worried until he has his official diagnosis after an MRI and a radio and what not, but while he lets people help him into a sweatshirt and out of the rest of his gear, it’s hard not to notice the burning behind his eyelids.</p><p>
  <em> Not again, not again, not again. Please, not again, not again, not again.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>○○○</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The next day, the team goes on Canada road-trip and EJ spends an entire week on his own between the arena where he meets the doctors and his home where his range of motion and activities is severely imputed by the sling immobilizing his shoulder. </p><p>He receives several texts and calls from teammates, friends, family. He talks with his mom on the phone twice and he shoots Gabe one message when the doctors finally give him a diagnosis. He decides that he deserves the break and that he can keep ignoring everyone for a while more. </p><p>So he does.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>○○○</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sam comes by on sunday, knocking on his door somewhere before noon. It’s been a week since they last saw each other and EJ, he was not expecting it. He pauses with a frown. </p><p>“Hey,” Sam greets, a small smile at the corner of his lips that EJ can’t reciprocate. </p><p>“Can I come in ?” he asks when EJ still hasn’t answered. Sam’s doing an almost okay job at not fixating on EJ’s shoulder and the thick blue sling standing out over his light grey shirt. </p><p>EJ takes a step backwards and sideway to invite Sam.</p><p>“I got us take-out from the thai place you like close to the rink,” Sam says lifting a bag EJ hadn’t noticed from his right hand. He nods and grabs the bag to put everything in the kitchen. He’s not sure how he feels about eating with Sam right now, the only need prevailing in his brain being the one to just go back to bed away from the rest of the world.</p><p>Sam is still in the entryway when EJ comes back and EJ decides to just look at him, expectant.</p><p>“Can we sit ?”</p><p>“I can stand.” EJ retorts. He tries to cross his arms over his chest before he can catch himself. He doesn’t look <em> that </em>ridiculous. Whatever.</p><p>“Oh my god, of course you can stand,” he uses a tone EJ never really hear to specify how big of an idiot EJ is being. “Are you that bad with all your guests ?”</p><p>EJ huffs but concedes, leading them to his living room and sitting quietly on the couch where Sam joins him.</p><p>“Today is an off day and when we got back from Calgary late at night yesterday, Gabe said that he would come by your house to see you.” Sam starts. “I asked if I could come with  him and he said I should come by on my own and that he would do it later.”</p><p>EJ internally sighs at the idea of having to deal with Gabe any time soon. Gabe is going to <em> beat some sense into him </em>as he likes to say. And he’s going to be right, probably.</p><p>“I didn’t mind being ignored because I understood how you could want some space but you’re my friend. I wanted to check up on you.”</p><p>“Because I do such a bad job at taking care of myself ?” EJ retorts and he probably sounds childish. </p><p>EJ knows he fucked up because Sam looks angry at the question.</p><p>“Because I’m not a shitty friend ? I was listening to you, all the time, in case you hadn’t noticed. And like sure sometimes you have a weird accent but I’m pretty sure I got all the importants parts when you told me about your injuries and how they made you feel.”</p><p>
  <em> Right. </em>
</p><p>“Can we eat first ? I’ll tell you everything you want, I promise.”</p><p>Sam looks at him suspiciously, probably unable to decide if he can trust EJ or not. It hurts, a little, but EJ guesses he can understand.</p><p>“Alright, you’re still a dumbass though,” Sam answers and he has the beginning of a smile on his face and EJ, he might be weak to that expression because he relaxes his features a little.</p><p>“I’m pretty sure calling an alternate a dumbass is a finable offense,” he comments and Sam laughs while getting up to get their food from the kitchen. EJ allows himself to fully smile while Sam is gone, the moment does feel like some kind of truce.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>○○○</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sam sets the food on the coffee table and while they eat, he tells EJ about their games and the latest gossip in the locker room. It makes EJ wish he was there a little but he’s mostly happy to listen to Sam, maybe he can kind of missed the french canadian accent and the way Sam accompany his stories with a lot of hands movements.</p><p>EJ gets a little antsy when he has to wait for Sam to be back from putting the empty containers in the trash but then Sam comes back, sitting a little closer to him than before, and he lays his hands on the couch, right between the two of them. EJ frowns and Sam rolls his eyes, knocking his hand against EJ’s thigh. “Come on, you know—” Sam starts but EJ doesn’t let him finish, just slot his fingers between Sam’s.</p><p>He takes a big breath and then, just as easily as he always does the rest of the time, he starts telling Sam about his feelings. He explains how things went when he was taken of the ice, the uncertain diagnosis, the anxiety, the fear, <em> the anger.  </em></p><p><em> I’m probably not gonna be able to come back for the playoffs, </em>is a hard sentence to let go off but Sam squeezes his hand, rubbing his thumb over EJ’s knuckles. He would have had a chance if he’d only dislocated lightly instead of getting it fully separated but as always, he’d gone the big way.</p><p>EJ talks and talks and sometimes Sam asks some questions and EJ answers, pausing to think when he needs to. He doesn’t know how much time they spend on the subject but when it looks like they’re nearing the end for today, EJ feels… <em> Better. </em>Drained but good.</p><p>“Wanna watch a movie or something ?” EJ offers when it’s clear that he’s off the hook on his injury talk.</p><p>Sam accepts easily and EJ almost feels disappointed they have to detach in order for him to move and settle on the corner of his sectional.</p><p>Five seconds later he has Sam pushing him against the very far side, still mindful of his shoulder, so he can stretch his legs next to EJ’s. He then fit his head snug against EJ’s pillow and puts his hand palm up on the top his thigh.</p><p>EJ doesn’t wait too long before taking Sam up on his offer. Answering to him the next second is pretty easy too.</p><p>“Good ?” </p><p>“Good.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yes, the end is very rushed and i am very sorry.</p><p>please people write more sam/ej, i want to read about my boys.</p><p>come find me @ domkubaliks on tumblr :)</p></blockquote><div class="children module" id="children">
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